Weddings

Decmeber 29

If only i had the time to write more often... work is eating me up... with some gimiks on the side of course...
I attended a close friends wedding today at Dagupan. The small little guy is now married at 26.. haha.. hopefully he doesn't read this or i will never hear the end of the height issue. He married his 6 year girlfriend. Motif was in orange and green, most people will probably never imagine mixing those colors but i can say that this one did it. The church was located about 5-10 minutes away from Leisure Coast where the reception will be held. A small chapel filled with bouquets of orange, yellow, white and green flowers. The ceiling was covered in drapes of white cloth. The young officiating priest gave a very good homily about marriage putting it into an acronym - SACRED. As attentive as i was during that moment, I can't quite remember now what most of those letters stand for... =) all i can say is that it was a truly solemn ceremony.
The traditional picture taking is over and the newlyweds ride into their white Mercedes limousine off to the reception to meet more relatives and guests. The entourage enters into a huge conference room where the same combination of flowers and ribbons were spread across the room. The party was buffet style with good food i must say. The usual cake cutting, wine drinking, bouquet and garter portion took place.
I sit there, wearing my pink and green dress, hearing all the murmur around the room. I look at the happy faces everywhere. The glowing couple roaming around thanking everyone for their presence. I suddenly thought of how hectic and expensive it would probably be to prepare a wedding. Then i wondered how mine would go. A slight rush of sadness suddenly came over me. I have attended 2 weddings this year where i went alone. And everytime a certain part of the party will give me this feeling. Maybe it normally happens to single women. There is no rush there, but sometimes you can't help but feel and question when will your time come? What it would feel like to be up there in that white gown feeling like a princess? Lots of mixed emotions... excitement... happiness... fear... all i did and can do for the moment is sigh... because that part of my life has not even peaked a little... but i know someday it will come... Patience is a virtue....
The party has just ended... there was no official emcee so everything was rushed through... and so i head off home with my cute little wooden chime token in shape of a house with two white doves on the roof.... but i should have gotten the angel...

Before Sunset

I never even realized that 1 hour and 15 minutes was over… the ending was left hanging that would make one’s mind wander what really happened. Of course the obvious would state that he missed his flight and they made passionate love that made up for the 9 lost years. But then again eventually he will have to get on a plane and go back to his usual life…
Why do these things happen in a person’s life? There is always so much pain. Not that you can avoid pain but sometimes you get to questioning it when it happens to you every single time. Maybe I share the same sentiments with her. That I have had too many broken hearts that when the next one comes you don’t care that much anymore… OR to not give too much because you’re afraid that someday they will leave you… maybe settle down… and yet you are left there asking yourself over and over again what you had done wrong. She is right. Why have they settled down and not with you? Not that you would say yes when they asked but the feeling of being asked would have been so wonderful. That you actually made a person feel for you in that certain way. This doesn’t really apply to me now as none of my serious exes have actually settled down. But if you think of it, it does happen to a lot.
I can say that at the age of 25 I am afraid of commitment. Doesn’t that sound so pathetic?? Or maybe I feel this way because I haven’t really gotten over my past relationship. So I am sour over romantic ideas. To make myself feel better I think of it as a blessing in disguise. That this happened for a reason. Well I truly believe that everything does happen for a reason. You will just have to wait what is in store for you. “Patience is virtue” as they say. It is the waiting that sucks really. But you are left with no choice. Being single isn’t too bad. You can enjoy so much without having to worry about too many things. A lot of my friends have settled down and have kids and they always tell me how lucky I am. If only they can trade places even for a short period of time to be able to enjoy all over again. So I guess I am okay after all…
Then you meet other men that have almost all the qualities that you are looking for BUT they are not available. You keep your guard because you know they are committed to someone else. That you would put yourself in her shoes and how painful it would be to lose someone you love so much over someone else. The saddest part is you like the person so much… that you can get along so well… are so compatible at so many things… but you know you can never have him for yourself…
Maybe it is all part of the plan… but do we really have to go through all of this?? Maybe yes and maybe no. No one can really answer these kinds of questions … it is called life… I think I need the sunset…

Random Thoughts

December 2, 2004

It’s a boring, cold, gloomy night… My sister is on the phone and so I am currently deprived of my rights to logon to the net… much to my disappointment that I am the one paying the monthly phone bill… but so anyway, I decide to start this and jot down whatever random thought that runs through my mind.
The wind, together with some thin rain, is actually blowing hard on my window right now. “Yoyong” is on its way. Signal no. 3 has been cast over Baguio City today and much to all the students delight, classes at all levels have been cancelled. Government offices were closed at 12nn. How funny because there was no single drop of rain till 7pm tonight. And so the malls of course were clamored with students. Well I wouldn’t really blame PAGASA for the very advanced warning. The super typhoon, as what they call it, has hit central Luzon and has done severe damage to lots of provinces. My heart goes out to the families that lost their homes and the people who have lost their loved ones. Rains are expected to get heavier by midnight tonight and I do pray for everyone’s safety.
Christmas is just around the corner and how sad to start the happy month with rainfall… although I wouldn’t say that I am currently in the state of happiness, I would consider it one in favor of the majority. How can there be a typhoon in the month of December? And a super one at that! Weather is getting weirder and weirder everyday. Sometimes it is scary to think about what really is happening to the world. A lot of activities are being planned for a festive month ahead. Christmas parties… of course the limelight of that would be the exchange gift portion, aside from the eating portion and a little bit of games. When you come to think of it, what really is the purpose of these parties?? Is it really to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ? Is that true Christmas spirit really within these humans? Or is it because it has become a tradition and should not be passed up? Can be because of the 300 (max) peso worth of presents… or the good food being served (notice that every year you would have the same type of food anyway)… or maybe the fun and games which create a bonding session among the participants… I guess it would have to depend on each one’s souls at how they will translate the meaning of a Christmas party. The answer to this would have to be thought of.
My best friend has been encouraging me to start this journal thing… I am usually not the type to write whatever it is that’s in my head but then again now that I am getting the hang of it, I might as well continue and check out my blog talents… this is really not too bad at all.

...starting out...

Ookay so i try this new blog thing... seems like i am the last person on earth to start this but anyways.... amidst this very busy moment i still have the time to write all this.. haha... surely my company is very proud of me... but hey, it is a friday and this will only take 15 minutes... and my 15 minutes is up... i shall return...