Birthday Dad

For the first time after THE longest time, my dad comes home today and gives me a tight hug and kisses me on the cheek as soon as he comes in the door. Now what am I missing here? It must be the pre birthday blues.

Tomorrow he turns 66. After that warm hug, he gives this very touching speech. It almost brought a tear to my eye. He reiterates how much time we spent together. I grew up with my dad. A daddy’s girl some would say. And he did bring me up pretty well. He was very strict when it concerns education. Well being one of the top ten outstanding educators of the country, I wouldn’t blame him for the strictness. I remember in grade school when I wasn’t allowed to watch television during the weekdays. I also used to have an hour of study time before hitting the bed. And it went on till high school. Boy I really hated that. I would hear the front gate open and I’d run up to my room pretending to study. Haha. Just like any teenager, I too had my rebellious moments. But in the end, my dad would still have the last say.

Tonight his speech was far more “future concerned” than the usual family speeches. Of course I have heard it before but tonight I heard him say it from his heart. I saw how much he meant it. He tells me once more that I am the jewel in his life and that someday he would like to be strong enough to walk me down that aisle… His only dream yet to be fulfilled. We are three daughters but I am his only chance. It pains me to think that I cannot fulfill that dream of his in the near future. And as he continues to express his feelings as to how he wants it so much, I feel a tightening in my chest... stopping myself from shedding a tear. It has come to that point that he has probably realized that that is the only thing missing right now. Maybe he has seen me struggle through education, struggle through attaining success in career (not that I have already attained that), and now he sees me as a woman… no longer his little girl.

As I stand there trying to hold in my emotions, I just give him that hug back… kiss him on the cheek and say “…someday we’ll get there… someday… HAPPY BIRTHDAY dad!”